The Dbottino Weblog

Online dating personals are like cut-aways for getting acquainted online. To make someone ‘take’ it your personal has to be interesting, unusual, and catching.

Online personals experts suggest different tips for writing good ones. It’s really worth reading various opinions before you make the final variant of your own personal. You don’t necessarily have to listen to and follow all the tips you find. Choose those ones that are closer to your outlook.
Generally experts advise to try to make your personal a bit different from the rest. Things that are not like others attract more attention. What you should do first of all is to find the best of all your photos and attach it to your personal.

Make sure that you have chosen the one you look gorgeous at, and the effect won’t make you wait long. As to the content – don’t make your personal too wordy. Show up only several major points about you, but make it in an intriguing way to make people desire to get know you better.

If you choose chargeable dating service then before you pay for placing your personal at online dating website make sure that it’s all right. Don’t waste you time and money.

Jealousy is one of the emotions that spring out at unexpected times. There are instances when you just want to burst into tears and jolt into anger because a partner shows interest to other things or individual. You can feel it eating your heart out and distort your logic, which may cause you to do something irrational. Before jumping into any conclusion or reach a decision, one should try to sit back and release the pent up emotions, not by throwing solid objects literally or flinging hurtful words, but simply try to inhale and exhale to even your breathing first. Once you are calm, that should be the time for you let your mind work.

Ask yourself why do you feel like this? When did this start to bother you? Are you a jealous person? Do you have a reason to be jealous? So on and so forth. There are a lot of questions that need to be answered first, questions that need to be dealt within you before you seek other people’s advise. Know the root of this disturbing reaction and how this is affecting you. You are human after all, it is normal to feel insecure but you should at least try to be open-minded and not let this cloud your judgments. It happens sometimes but if you are always like this, you better stop and look at yourself, maybe the problem is you.

Honesty will guide you to resolve this matter, so you should be true to yourself. When you have made up your mind that it is so unlike you to feel jealous, you better have an honest talk with your partner and convey your trust issues. Do not involve shouting or hurling disrespectful words that would only worsen the situation. Be calm and be rational. When you have resolved the issue, you have to trust your partner if you want to save your relationship. Do not let this consume you, let it go and move on.

Need a quick idea to dress up a mediocre wedding? Balloon decorations are just what you need. These do-it-yourself ideas are not only low-cost but also lovely additions to a wedding ceremony or reception. Adding balloon decorations to your wedding is a smart way to be creative and save money.

Balloon Arch

The balloon arch is a perfect way to add flair to your celebration. The easiest way to construct the piece is to get a pre-built wedding arch made of white metal. If a wedding arch is not available, you can build an arch using strong bendable metal wire. Just make sure it is sturdy enough to stand on its own.

After positioning the arch, simply attach full balloons onto the arch using wire ties or string. Wrap the tie around the base of the balloon and then onto the arch. It is best to start at the top and work your way down both sides evenly to crate a uniform look. This can be done with multicolored balloons or balloons of one shade. Balloons should not be filled with helium however.

The more balloons you can attach, the better the piece will turn out. Also, this is a piece that must be constructed at the site where it will be used. Balloon arches last approximately twelve hours, so plan its construction carefully.

The completed arch can be used in several places. Some brides choose to place the arch outside the entrance to the ceremony. This allows guest to walk through the arch as well as the bride and her attendants. Other brides choose to use the arch as a ceremony highlight. They prefer to place it in the ceremony area so they can stand under it as they are saying their vows. Lastly, many brides feel this decoration is better suited for the reception area and use it to decorate for the after-ceremony event.

Balloon Centerpiece

For brides on a tight budget, balloon décor can be an easy way to stay on track financially and design a beautiful wedding. One of the best places brides can use wedding balloon decorations is on reception tables. To make a creative balloon centerpiece, you will need white paper lunch sacks, sand, pretty string, helium, and balloons in coordinating reception colors.

Take a paper sack and fill it will two cups of sand. Fill three balloons with helium and tie them off with long strings. Then, bunch up the top of the sack and tie the balloons around it to secure them. Place the sack in the middle of the table and you have an easy centerpiece.

It is best to cut the strings of the three balloons differently to allow them to be different heights when arranged. You can also curl excess ribbon or string to make it more decorative. For extra beauty, brides can stuff the bags with decorative tissue paper after adding the sand. When the balloons are attached the tissue paper can stick out of the top for a more polished look.

This idea is also great for last minute decorating. Brides are not limited to using this piece in the reception, and can also use this idea to decorate the ceremony. It is lovely to place this piece on the floor, lining the aisle in the ceremony.

Balloon decorations for weddings are wonderful ways to add fun and creativity. Brides can make the decorations themselves with their family and friends. These ideas may be low-cost, but the end product certainly looks beautiful.

Whitney Acke is a freelance writer from Lexington, Kentucky. In addition to freelance writing she also enjoys songwriting. She and her husband have two young boys and four dogs. She is a regular contributor to http://www.wedding-decoration-idea.com

Would you like to have a stronger, healthier, more enjoyable marriage? I am sure that you would. And yet we live in a culture where about half of all marriages will shatter and end in a divorce, leaving behind the wreckage of broken adults and broken children.

If we are to build healthy marriages, we much do so “on purpose.” We cannot just hope that it will happen by accident. “Hope,” say the generals, “is not a good strategy.” Planning, work, and the investment of time, are much better strategies for any important endeavor of life. The first characteristic of a healthy marriage for us to consider is the way that we talk to our spouse, and the way that we talk about our spouse..

Healthy marriages are characterized by supportive, encouraging, and honest communication. We want to build each other up in our marriages, never tear our spouse down (especially under the guise of being “honest”). Two thousand years ago St. Paul wrote this verse that is worthy of every refrigerator door in America,

“Don’t let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up, according to what they need, so that you can benefit those who listen.” (Paul’s letter to the Ephesians, Chapter 4).

There are three important parts to Paul’s verse. First, that if we don’t have something good to say, don’t say anything at all. I think my mother told me that as well. Second, that we should consider our listener’s needs. My wife has a different set of needs than does my daughter, or my sons. We should consider how best to encourage and support that particular person. Finally, the purpose of our talking in the first place should be to benefit the listener.

When I first began to seriously apply Paul’s principle, and I began to really look at what I was saying, and why I was saying it, my vocabulary and my time talking were cut by about one-third. I had become sarcastic, but funny. But my funny sarcasm was always at the expense of another. When I determined to build others up and benefit them with my speech, I talked a lot less. But I became a much better person, both inside and out.

Check your motives. If you just want to make yourself look good, you will tend to be sarcastic, and you will tend to “tease” other people by degrading them in front of others. The consequences of this will be that your friends will see your “teasing” as shameful, and your spouse and your children will grow distant from you. It may cost you your marriage.

If , on the other hand, your motives are to build up and encourage your spouse and children, then speak words of support, love, and praise to them. Your friends will view you as a loving person, and your spouse and children will always want to be near you. They will love to hear you talk, as your words will be “like honey” to them.

So choose well how you will use your words. You have the power to build up, or to tear down, just by the choices that you make.

Douglas Cowan, Psy.D., is a family therapist who has been working with ADHD children and their families since 1986. He is the clinical director of the ADHD Information Library’s family of seven web sites, including http://www.newideas.net, helping over 350,000 parents and teachers learn more about ADHD each year. Dr. Cowan also serves on the Medical Advisory Board of VAXA International of Tampa, FL., is President of the Board of Directors for KAXL 88.3 FM in central California, and is President of NewIdeas.net Incorporated.

What is love? Is it something you can feel? How do people know if they have found the person they could spend the rest of their lives with? It would be easier to know if we’ve found this person if we could know what love is.

Initially when we meet someone we like there is probably something physical attracting us. We may feel attracted. Then if all goes well – you go out, have a good time, and find you want to spend more time with one another – you may begin to have more feelings for one another. But is this love? Time is the answer to all of these questions and the tester of the relationship.

Keep sex out of the mix. When sex becomes part of the equation things become confusing fairly quickly. Sex is a strong and powerful gift that should only be used in marriage to become more intimate – more intimate than you could without it. Outside of marriage it only serves to destroy any chance of truly knowing if you have love for someone or, if they have love for you.

If your relationship is based on sex you are on an unstable foundation. If your feelings change so will your desire to have sex, so will your so called feelings of love with this person and, the same is true for them. Sex only works if love is the foundation of a marriage relationship.

Feelings change and this makes it an unstable foundation for a relationship as well. A lot of times feelings change when the bliss of sex has worn off or, the things you can’t stand about the other person surfaces with more frequency. Sex will cause you to look past the things you can’t really live with in another person. And when sex fails to work for you, all you have left are all those things that irritate you about your partner.

So what is love? If you can keep sex from coming into the picture the time you spend together can help you find out if you can love the person you’re seeing. You will learn what their values are. You will learn what makes them tick and what drives them. You will find out if you could love them through the time you spend together.

What are the interests you share? What things are you passionate about together? Are there things that get on your nerves – drive you crazy? Can you live with those things? Are you driven by the same things they are driven by? Do all these interests that you both share cause you to draw closer or, do they make you want to spend less time together? If after you have seen all there is to see in a person and you are still drawn then you are ready – Ready for what? -To make a decision.

Love is not a feeling or an attraction. It is a decision. In all the things you learn about one another you must weigh whether or not you can live with those things. Are the traits in this person the traits you are looking for in a mate? Do their flaws turn you off to the point that you will choose not to love at some point? Is there enough in them that you like and admire for you to make a decision to love them for the rest of your life? See, love is a verb. It is an action word. It is something you decide to do. It is something you make a commitment to do in good times and bad. In other words you are deciding after everything that you have seen that you can still love the person inside.

From the bible here is a description of love:

(4)Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud (5) or rude. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged. (6)It is never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. (7)Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. (8)Love will last forever..(1 Corinthians 13:4-8)

On line dating and free relationship advice – is a web site discussing various methods of on line dating and finding, judging, and using free relationship advice. Also reviews of many on line dating sites.

Since most people express the desire to have more romance in their lives, it really begs the question: How do you create a romance that lasts? What’s the secret to energizing your life with a lasting vibrant romantic energy?

It’s critical to embrace the concept that we create our own reality. From moment to moment we are literally creating the life we live out of a field of infinite potential. Thoughts, desires, attentions, and intentions are all crucial elements in manifesting the current reality in which we live.

Regardless of specific religious or metaphysical belief, it is universally agreed that beneath the physical beingness there is a spiritual beingness as well, and that the nature of this spirit is infinite. And since at the true core of our being we are infinite, by definition we possess unlimited creative potential.

The keys to unlocking and directing this potential, that is, creating our reality, have to do with the quality our intention and desire, and how and where we focus our attention. What we focus on becomes our reality. This is one of the immutable laws of our universe.

Your intentions have great power. They organize the infinite field of potential and bring it into harmony with your desires. Attention, on the other hand, enlivens your reality. If you want more of something, put your attention on it. Intend that it be so. This powerful combination of intention and attention helps mold your living reality from moment to moment.

From this perspective, romance can be understood as a condition of loving reality that is created from moment to moment from and within the infinite field of pure potentiality. Often it happens spontaneously between two people. It seldom lasts long, however, and even more seldom forever. It is possible, though, to create a lasting romance; it takes honest desire, loving intention, and constant loving attention. Like any life force, romance needs constant nurturing to grow and stay healthy.

So if you desire more romance in your life, start by thinking about the romance you want. Take time each day to envision your life with more romance in it. Try to visualize clearly what your life would be like, and how your conditions would change. Imagine yourself being romantic in vivid detail. Write down on paper your vision and read it daily. Post it somewhere where you can see it often.

Also, examine your intention about romance. Are your intentions to create more love in your life, or are they about something else? And most important, are you committed to its creation? Over time are your really willing to do what it takes to manifest it in your life?

You can create anything in your life with honest and strong desire, positive and committed intention, and consistent loving attention. These are all keys to creating a lasting romance in your life as well.

Mark Maxwell is a saxophonist and composer whose company, Romantic Sax Music, creates and distributes music that facilitates romance and harmony. Romantic Sax Music: Romancing Your Heart…Soothing Your Soul

When you think of Florida what do you think of? I think of FUN! As a child I spent time in Florida every year and we had fun at the beaches, fun at the Theme parks, just plain old fun was had every time we visited Florida. Now that I’m planning my wedding, I’m looking for the ideal spot to hold the ceremony, I keep thinking about the beach wedding I’ve always dreamed of as a little girl.

For those of you whom have never been to Florida, it’s a peninsula state located in the Southeastern portion of the United States. It’s known for its beautiful beaches, Citrus groves, The Everglades and Theme Parks. It’s also known as the place that many people like to spend their days in retirement. It’s no wonder why Florida is one of the top vacation destinations in the world.

Not surprising, Florida is becoming a popular spot to have wedding ceremonies. In particular the St. Petersburg and Clearwater area, this is on the Gulf Coast. These two cities are reportedly hosting 8,500 weddings annually. The beaches on this coast are some of the most beautiful in the world, which make an exciting and romantic backdrop for a wedding.

One of the reasons that Florida’s gulf coast is so popular is that there are so many options for the bride and groom to choose. Yes, you can have a beautiful beach wedding but there are some magnificent Botanical Gardens here also. The Tampa Bay lighthouse is used for some weddings as well as a number of unique and exotic locations. With so many options to choose from, it’s no surprise as to Florida’s rise as one of the top wedding destinations!

Privacy and romance are top consideration when planning to perfect Florida wedding. Most of the companies that offer beach weddings are geared towards small parties under 60. When considering my budget I was happy to find that the wedding beach pricing was indeed affordable. Prices range from modest to extravagant; there is definitely something for every bride and grooms budget.

Guests will be treated to a memorable experience too. The beach setting of thundering ocean waves, snow white sand and warm soothing sun create an atmosphere of bliss for everyone attending the ceremony. As the bride and groom proceed through the ceremony, it’s said that all in attendance are moved by the beauty and romance of the beach setting. The soon to be newlyweds are not only providing memories that last a lifetime for themselves but for their guests as well.

Yes, Florida does look like a great wedding destination spot. If you haven’t considered planning an exotic wedding do you self a favor and look into it. You may want to contact your travel agent or an online service to check to see if flying to Florida will be in your budget. I did and found that the cost would be far less than a traditional wedding at home. Naturally we’ll remember this special day where ever we choose to hold it but having the choice of being married in a romantic location like one of Florida’s breathtaking beaches or a traditional indoor wedding, the beach wedding just seems so much more special. Little did I know that my dream wedding as a little girl may very well be the wedding that becomes my reality.

Holly Dodd is a webmaster that enjoys including her personal solutions, like planning a wedding and a variety of other topics are covered in other websites.

I’d had a full week and was dead tired. All I looked forwarded to was 5 pm, a few beers and the weekend. Teaching young Emirati/Arab ladies about human resources and business communication in English was always going to be a challenge given their varying levels of English comprehension. Trying to find a meeting of minds with anyone can be a challenge, let alone those who speak English as a second language. But occasionally I knew I was getting my message across and that these ladies would benefit from the knowledge and skills they were learning.

Most of our classes had a touch of humour and fun, some good teamwork with those with a better command of English helping their colleagues pick up the nub of my messages, and a good rapport between us, me as the expatriate Australian who had come to help (and brought with him a strange accent); them as the willing learners. We took time to do some serious learning, but have a bit of fun in the process. The last day of the week is a low key day. We revise what we have covered in the previous week and set the scene for the coming week. Everyone was tired, but somehow we hung in there and got through the final hour.

It’s very satisfying knowing that you are helping the next generation of people who will make the United Arab Emirates even greater than it is. While I teach them human resources, they covertly teach me about the fortitude it takes to come back day after day and struggle to learn unfamiliar topics in a language that they only partially understand. Each has developed coping mechanisms. It takes a special type of courage and dedication that I have come to admire very much. I often wonder whether I could do it.

Anyway, we had been discussing SMS messaging and how it might, or might not be used in business; when it was appropriate and when it wasn’t. They are all adept at anything to do with mobile phones and modern technology generally, but the intricacies of appropriate business communication we had to cover.

At the end of the lesson they bade me “have a nice weekend sir”, and I returned to my desk to complete the last bit of paperwork, prepare for next week and enter attendances before leaving. Although I had managed to get through the last lesson, I stil felt stuffed.

For some reason or other I went straight to my mobile phone, which I leave in my desk set to ’silent’ while in the classroom. Usually I forget to check it until hours later in the evening. But today, I decided to check my messages. And there it was. No. It wasn’t notification of a huge lottery win. It was much better. My daughter in Australia had sent me an SMS message that simply said, “I love you dad”. Nothing else, just “I love you dad”.

I was puzzled. Nobody ever tells me they love me. As I fought back tears (unsucessfully), I reflected on how very lucky I am to have a lovely daughter who, for some reason or other, had decided on the spur of the moment to tell me what she feels. It mattered not to me why she said it, only that she said it. I thought, “I love you too”, switched the mobile back to “loud” and finished up the remaining work before driving home.

My tiredness remarkably, had vanished. I felt elated, like a million dollars … I was The King of the World and everything was wonderful. That’s the Power of Love. Mix it with the immediacy of an SMS message and you have a powerful combination.

All of us want to love and be loved. It’s part of the human condition. With the power of SMS messages and the written word, you can change lives. When was the last time you told someone you love them?

Copyright 2006 Robin Henry | First Published March 2006

Robin Henry is an educator, human resources specialist and Internet entrepreneur. He helps home-based businesses and individuals improve performance by applying smart technology and processes and developing personally. He runs his business Desert Wave Enterprises from his home base at Alice Springs in Central Australia, although at present he is on temporary assignment in the United Arab Emirates.

Call it a fight, call it a discussion, call it whatever you want. But let’s be honest. The truth is that in every marriage there is fighting. No matter what you think, there is no such thing as the Cleavers or the Cosbys. That being said, if it happens in every marriage, why is it that there are some couples who seem to enter and exit the ring gracefully while others seem like there is never a break between rounds? The reason is that some people have learned the secrets behind fighting well and others are just swinging away hoping to connect.

Whether you have been married 20 years or 20 minutes, learning to fight well can
be the difference between being one of the most rewarding experiences of marriage
and the most challenging.

What fight do you want to fight?

Let’s clarify what was said previously. Everyone fights, but you may not
actually know it. Even if you are in the relationship. There are basically 2 types of
fighters; the Screamers and the Sweepers.

What does a screamer sound like?

This is the couple that nobody doubts is having problems. They are the ones
that fight over the smallest things, and these small things turn into World War III.
The fights turn brutal fast and leave deep wounds that are still raw as the next fight
starts. They fight about the same thing over and over and never seem to solve a
thing.

How deep is the carpet you sweep under?

These couples do have conflicts, but they keep it quiet. From the neighbors,
from the family, and even from themselves. When a conflict arises, these people will
quickly and effectively avoid the conflict and will work around it. When they come
into therapy, generally these people will talk about conflicts that were never
resolved 10 years ago that their partner didn’t even know was a problem.

Why do so many couples fight?

Here is the problem. There really are 3 things working against you in this
relationship.

What family tree did you fall from?
First is that neither one of you grew up in the same family. Maybe your family was
the kind of family that was loud and outgoing, always doing things together, and
constantly moving, whereas your partner came from a family where spending time
together meant that they were in the same room together listening to the same
clock ticking in the corner. It may not have been quite that extreme, but you get the
point.

Are you a fruit?
Secondly, no two people in the world have had exactly the same experiences and
thoughts as another person. Our experiences tend to form who we are and how we
see life. Therefore, no two people in or out of a relationship will ever see their
relationship exactly the same. It is like trying to compare apples to oranges.

What planet are you on?

Finally, there is one overlying theme that hangs over all of us in traditional
relationships. One of us is male and the other is female. Period. Although we are
not from different planets as you may have heard, society expects different things
from us and we therefore have different goals and expectations about relationships
and our roles in them.

Knowing that there are such strong, lifelong habits and traits that we are dealing
with, it should be

Why do we lose control?

When we fight, something interesting happens in our bodies. For most people,
fighting isn’t just an exchange of words. It is an emotional event that happens and
is felt throughout our bodies.

Emotion types

There are two types of emotions. Primary and secondary. Secondary emotions are
emotions that come after the main emotion occurs. In essence, it is a reaction to the
reaction.

When people come into a session, most often we hear “She pissed me off”, or
“He made me so mad”. That is not the real emotion. That is the reaction to the
emotion. The primary emotion is hurt, disappointment, or rejection. It is important
that this distinction be made.

Chemical Confusion

Part of the problem when we fight is that too often we are dealing with the
secondary emotions. We have felt something strongly like rejection or betrayal, and
then our bodies automatically go into defensive mode. Our brains release chemicals
that put us on alert and do not allow proper functioning of brain processing.

What we need to realize is that people who work off of secondary emotions do not
actually see reality because their brains cannot function properly with the chemicals
that are being produced. Our natural response is to retaliate without thought. How
can you fight effectively when your brain is not functioning? You can’t! That is why
you need to be able to see clearly enough to fight.

This is just not natural!

Why is it that fighting well is so difficult? Even the most practiced couple makes
mistakes at times and seems to go backwards. What needs to be understood is that
it is not natural to have the kind of conversations that will make marriages work.
Our natural reaction is to fight or run.

So what we are doing is trying go against what our animal instincts are telling us to
do. What needs to happen is that we need to transcend that instinct and move to a
higher level and do things that feel difficult and unnatural. It’s hard, but it can be
done using proven tools.

Other Topics in this Series

1) Check Out Time

2) Kitchen Sinking

3) Sucker Punch

4) Setting the Rules

…and many more

Topics discussed here are not intended to replace professional counselling. For
further information, more articles like this and downloadable audio files, visit
www.bestmarriages.com

With over 40 years of combined experience in marriage, family, and relationship counselling, Jay, Lawrence, and Darren offer a unique and refreshing perspective on what makes marriages effective.

According to Rob Emery in his book “The Truth About Children and Divorce,” 75% of kids of divorce end up doing very well despite the parent’s separation. Does this happen naturally or do the parents actions have an impact on how the children will respond to the divorce?

Having experienced a divorce first hand, I believe the parent’s actions will have an impact on the children after the separation. Don’t get me wrong; some children will pass through a divorce completely unaffected while other kids will obviously need some help.

Recently, my two sons who live with their mom in a different province were visiting me for a week. During the visit, I saw my oldest son staring off into space one day with a far away look on his face. I asked him what he was thinking about and he made up some response about just looking at the forest. I realized the time was not right to discuss the matter but I asked him about it later that day. He eventually confessed he missed living in the same place as his dad but he didn’t want to tell me because he didn’t want to make me sad.

As it turns out, he also did not want to play with any of his old friends from our neighborhood because he was afraid his mom might think he liked his old friends more then his new friends. He also said he didn’t want to make his mom mad in the event she thought he may want to move back with his dad.

Obviously, my oldest son is troubled by the divorce and separation of his parents despite what his mother would say. The real question is will this affect him in years to come? Will he experience trouble with commitment or communication? I certainly hope not but things are obviously much more difficult because my ex-wife refuses to communicate with me about the children.

In his book, Emery suggests parents should treat their relationship after a divorce like a business. He suggests the parents are in the business of raising children and they would be better off if they treated it as a business. As with any business, if there is a lack of communication the business will fail. If my ex-wife refuses to communicate with me, how are we supposed to have a successful business? In looking back at our marriage, I can see a common thread of her wanting to do things her way and not involve me in the decision making process.

How should I react to this situation now?

I try to follow Emery’s advice but as he suggests himself, “I found … that all the advice I’d given was true, but it was a lot harder to follow than I realized.” It is very difficult to remain objective and look at such an emotional situation like a business. It is extremely difficult to step back from the pain, hurt and suffering and put my children first. It has tested the very bounds of my compassion and forgiveness but I have to believe it is in the best long-term interest of my kids.

When my children were visiting me, they told me about mommy’s new friend that visits the house for a sleep over. It would have been very nice to hear this from my ex-wife. I could care less if she is seeing anyone and in many regards, I am very happy she is. The point is she should have communicated this directly to me if she was sincerely interested in what was best for the kids.

Sometimes it is very difficult to do the right thing but I have to keep reminding myself over and over again and again that it is in the best interest of the kids. Just because my ex refuses to respect me as a father, I will not treat her the same way she is treating me.

I firmly believe that children will eventually be able to figure this out themselves. I also believe that children will eventually gravitate towards the parent who is most positive. All I can do is be supportive for my children, have an understanding demeanor and hope they eventually fall into the 75% category.