The Dbottino Weblog

Whether it has been online, at a networking function, or leads group, how many times have you been asked this question?

What do you do?

Quite a few, right?

This is the ultimate networking question and how you handle it can make a difference in your success as a professional networking person.

If you’re a realtor, a car salesman, or if you’re a barista, what should you say in response to this question? What will make them remember you and what it is that you do 5, 6, 7 days a week?

Here’s a Clue: It’s not “I’m a realtor”, or “I’m a car salesman”, or “I’m a barista”. A what?

The answer should be something like this:

“I help you find the home of your dreams”

“I help you drive the hottest luxury cars for less”

“I help you get that buzzzz that you need every morning!”

When someone asks you what you do, it’s not about you. It’s about what you can do for them. By saying, “I help you…”, you are tuning them in to how you can satisfy their needs.

Isn’t that what we all want? To have our needs met.

If you can tell me how you can meet my needs then I will remember you. Plus, if you actually follow through and meet my needs, then I will tell everyone I know about you!

Isn’t that what we all want? For everyone to know what we do professionally.

The simple question of “What do you do?” is so very important. It deals with supply and demand. If you’re focusing on your demands when you answer this question then you will fail.

If, however, you focus on the supply side, and what you can supply to meet their needs, then you will pass.

Change your next social or business networking function into a memorable experience for you and your contacts.

Change your online networking profile to display what it is you can do for me and I will visit you, I will email you, I will call you, I will buy from you, I will tell my friends all about Y O U.

Jim White is an online networker and owner of the
http://nonstop-networking.com Blog.

He is an Executive Representative with Direct Matches,
http://DirectMatches.com/wlmi
and one of the Founders of New Net Friends
http://My-New-Net-Friends.com

You may use this article if you include this resource box in its entirety will all links valid and clickable.

After a recent speech, an audience member asked me a question I’ve never considered: “What’s the difference between ‘approachability’ and ‘working a room’?”

Great point. And I think there’s a MAJOR distinction between the two. Let’s start with the latter.

PICTURE THIS: You’re hanging out by the entrance at a networking event. Your friend standing next to you lightly elbows your shoulder and says, “Hey, look at that guy in the blue suit – boy, he’s really working the room tonight!”

How would someone like that make you feel?

For some people, jealous:

Gosh, I wish I could just go up to anyone and start a conversation! If only networking came easy to me, I’d get all kinds of new customers!

For others, annoyed:

I hate when people do that. It’s making the rest of us look bad. It’s embarrassing to even be around someone so flaky and inauthentic.

For me, sympathetic:

Wow. (Shakes head). You know, that’s too bad. Mr. Blue Suit is really blowing his chances of making a positive first impression.

To gain a better understanding of this term, I Googled the phrase “working a room” while writing this article. About 50,000 pages came up. And many of them pointed to Susan Roane’s bestselling book, How To Work A Room: The Ultimate Guide to Savvy Socializing in Person and Online.

Now, I read this book several years ago. And I will say that it’s a great networking resource. But at the same time, I have to disagree:

Nobody should ever have to work a room.

Here’s why.

Working a room makes you sound like the politician who shows up at an event for 10 minutes to make an appearance, shake a few hands, kiss a few babies and then cruise out of town on his private jet.

No relationships, just superficial contact.
No helping others, just helping himself.
No quality conversations, just the quantity thereof.

This is NOT what effective networking looks like. Why?

Because people don’t want to feel like they’ve just been “worked.”

It pisses them off.
It creates a barrier to communication.

It makes them feel small.
And it makes YOU look like a jerk.

What’s more, people can tell when they are being worked.

So what’s the alternative?

You guessed it: approachability. The authentic magnetization of two people based on friendliness and common ground.

Here’s a quick comparison of the two words to help you understand the difference:

Working a Room

Come early, stay late. Don’t sacrifice a great conversation and/or a potential relationship just because “networking time” is over.

When I first started my career as an author/speaker, I thought “working the room” was the answer. I was even guilty of doing it myself! But after one particular networking event a few years ago, the president of my industry association reminded me, “Scott, just relax. Just be yourself. Avoid anything that would give others the impression that you’re working the room. Don’t worry. People will notice. Authenticity is the most magnetic quality of any businessperson.”

He was right. Approachability is about authenticity. It’s about giving yourself away to the other person.

It’s not about how many people you can meet in a half hour.
It’s not about how many business cards you give away or collect.
It’s not about tuning into some radio station called WIIFM (What’s In It For Me?)

It’s about mutually valuable relationships. It’s about asking, “What’s in it for US?!”

© 2006 All Rights Reserved. Scott Ginsberg is a professional speaker and the author of HELLO my name is Scott, The Power of Approachability and How To Be That Guy. He helps people MAXIMIZE their personal and professional approachability – one conversation at a time. To book Scott for your next association meeting, conference or corporate event, contact Front Porch Productions at 314/256-1800 or http://www.hellomynameisscott.com